WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? (Part 1)

Expectations. We all have them. Let's just admit this now before we go any further. We have expectations for everything and for everyone. We have expectations of our spouses, our children, our employers, our neighbors and our elected leaders. We have expectations of our waiter, of the driver next to us on the highway. But let's not forget that they have expectations of us too. Expectations go both ways. Even in the church you have expectations of me as the pastor, and I have expectations of you as members. 

When our expectations are not met we may become frustrated, angry and disheartened. If a spouse fails to meet expectations the other spouse may leave the marriage; if a restaurant fails to meet one's expectations that person will vow never to return; if a church fails to meet one's expectations, that person may leave the church. We ought to have expectations, but there is a such thing as unrealistic and unbiblical expectations. There are self-serving expectations and there are varying degrees of expectations. A wife may expect her husband to remember to take out the trash, but his failure to do so but this is a minor expectation and not grounds for divorce. An employee of a corporation is expected to be honest which is a major expectation. If he fails to be honest the company may fire him and would have grounds to do so. 

My concern is that sometimes we maximize minor expectations and minimize major expectations. We might all be wrestling with various expectations in the church that are causing frustration among us and it is good for us all to check our expectations according to the scriptures and biblical wisdom. We may have good reason to be frustrated or we may need to repent for being frustrated over nothing. Each one of us should ask ourselves: "What is at the center of my expectations? Is it just me and my preferences? Is it a perceived need that I expect to be fulfilled? Are my expectations shaped by the World's worldview or are they shaped by the Bible's worldview? Are my expectations realistic?"  We may come to believe certain expectations about worship are biblical but are really culturally conditioned or personal preferences. We may come to expect that our youth ministry to be of a certain caliber that is actually shaped by a worldly worldview. We may come to expect the church to have a barista at the coffee cart whipping up lattes for everyone, but this would be unrealistic and selfishly motivated even if it would be cool. Once we have checked our expectations for these pitfalls we are in a better position to vocalize our expectations and to address the failures of others to meet them. 

Jesus warns in Matthew 7:1–5, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." When it comes to addressing expectations we must also remember that Jesus calls for us to address our own failures before we address the failures of others. I am concerned that expectations are a one way street in the church. Ask yourself this question: "What does God expect of me? Am I meeting God's expectations as a member of the church? As a Christian?" If we are being honest, we will see that we are failing to meet expectations also and should address this in ourselves before we address it in others. The Apostle Paul states in Philippians 2:3–4, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." This is a biblical expectation that God places on us all, and one we should expect of ourselves! So are you meeting your own expectations that the Bible says you should have for yourself or are you just placing demands on everyone else but excusing yourself? This is a serious warning I believe and I will be the first to plead guilty to the charge.

So, before we allow frustration and disappointment to settle in, let's check our expectations against the truth of God's word and make sure we are not in the wrong. If we are failing to meet God's expectations of us, or the expectations of others we agreed to, let us repent and ask the Holy Spirit to change us.