"For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so." (James 3:2–10)
The tongue! The tongue! The tongue! Wow! What a weapon it can be! What a destructive force! When we read what James says here we know exactly what he is talking about. We have all been slain by the tongues of others and have ourselves, if we are honest, used our own tongues to slay others. This can be done directly or indirectly. We may lash out at someone directly or we may choose a less direct approach and start a wildfire of gossip. And the amazing thing is we can turn around and praise God with the very same tongue. Our church has been the victim of the tongue in the past and recently it seems the tongue has struck again. Here's what happens: people leave the church, wounds fester and poisons everyone. Bitterness, alienation and discord are the result. James says the tongue sets the course for everything else in our lives. This is a serious issue friends. The tongue has been known to destroy churches and relationships. It is a choice tool of Satan to defeat God's people and brings shame to the glorious name of Christ. Each of us must do our part to prevent our own tongues from being used by Satan.
Solomon tells us "There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. (Proverbs 6:16–19) Notice two things here: half of these things involve the tongue. We lie and deceive with our tongues and we sow discord through gossip and/or slander. Notice also this is right up there with shedding innocent blood. Think about the seriousness of this matter! If we use our tongue to sow discord, to spread gossip or slander others we are among the ranks of abortion doctors and evil dictators who kill their own people. God HATES gossip and slander. And he really hates it when we use our tongue to praise him after we have used it to destroy someone. This is called hypocrisy. God hates that too. (Psalm 26:4ff, Matthew 23).
When we use our tongues as weapons of mass destruction, it shows what is in our hearts. What it shows is we think we are better than others. It shows we are self-righteous and proud. We tear others down to exalt ourselves, but this always backfires for us. We end up suffering also. "But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person." (Matthew 15:18–20) Notice again that things like slander and false witness are ranked up there with murder and adultery.
Paul says, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." (Ephesians 4:29) What's been coming out of your mouth lately? What ought to be coming out of your mouth? Our tongues are meant to be dispensers of grace not dispensers of poisonous strife. All of our words must have a redemptive aim. If you have been using your tongue to destroy others, there is good news for you. First, you are not alone. All of us at some time have been guilty of using our tongues in an unholy and destructive manner. There is forgiveness in Christ! Here's more good news: you can change! Your tongue can be redeemed through the power of Christ and used instead to build up others in the faith.
If someone shares gossip with you, you need to be on your guard to avoid getting sucked in. First, refuse to listen to it. Tell them that if there is a problem between them and another person they need to go to that person and work the problem out as God directs us to do in his Word. The cross of Christ is big enough to restore our relationships and enable us to forgive and move past the things that come between us. Otherwise they need to zip it!
If the tongues of others have hurt you, it may be you need to confront the offender to prevent further injury and so the offender can come to terms with what is in their hearts. The sad truth is we seldom make the attempt and resolve to just leave those broken relationships broken. Thus we set ourselves up for bitterness and anger to grow in our hearts and we leave the offender to continue injuring others.
But together, in Jesus' name and through the power of the Spirit, we can put a stop to it all.
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