RELATIONSHIPS AND SPIRITUAL GROWTH ARE INSEPARABLE

The following is a fictitious conversation between a member of a church and the pastor. 

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Member: We are not connecting with people. We feel isolated and distant and feel we have no relationships with people here. Plus we feel we are not growing spiritually. 

Pastor: Have you tried to establish relationships in the church?

Member: Yes we have tried but it seems like nothing works. 

Pastor: What did you do? 

Member: We invited a family to our home once and they didn't seem interested. 

Pastor: Is that all you did? 

Member: Well, we tried talking to people at church.

Pastor: But you are always arriving late and out the door 60 seconds after the service ends, how meaningful can those conversations be? Have you been attending a small group? 

Member: Once or twice we tried, but we haven't been in a long time because we eat dinner at that time and that time is important to our family. 

Pastor: Have you been going to Sunday School? 

Member: No, we have a hard time getting up earlier to come.

Pastor: Have you been plugging into the men's or women's groups? 

Member: No, the topics don't seem interesting to us and we have other things going on.

Pastor: How do you expect to build relationships or grow in your faith if you will not prioritize and make use of the opportunities offered?

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This conversation above has not happened with anyone in our church. It is not based on a single situation at GCC, but it represents many situations I have encountered or reasons I have heard over the last 10 years as to why people do not get involved in small groups or other ministries where they can connect and grow. Paul says in Ephesians 4 that the two go together. "...speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." (Ephesians 4:15–16) Notice he describes growth in terms of how a body grows? Together: arms and legs grow into him who is the head! Together is the key word. Genuine growth in grace does not happen in isolation. Arms not attached to bodies are also not attached to heads and therefore do not grow. They decay.

One of the problems with this scenario I described above is "individualism." Its a huge problem in our culture. In fact its pretty much what our culture is based on. Along with "individualism" is its cousin  "consumerism" which has infiltrated so much of our thinking about faith and practice. Consumers in the church have high expectations of everyone in the church but none for themselves. The church is a restaurant where some members sit on cozy chairs at the table and demand relationships and growth in Christ be brought to them by other members. The problems with this mindset are obvious. Its all about them. But eventually this backfires. If they do this long enough they realize they are disconnected and stagnant in their faith. They are not involved in any type of small group or bible study. They have high expectations of establishing relationships and growing in grace but somehow it never dawns on them they have to be willing to make the personal investment in order for these things to happen. 

This calls for a change of perspective. We cannot see ourselves as consumers of goods in the church. This goes against the very nature of what the scriptures say the church is: a body (Ephesians 4:15-16), a temple (1 Peter 2:5), an army (2 Tim. 2:3), a flock (Luke 12:32) and a bride (Ephesians 5:25ff). This means we all do everything together. We grow together, worship together, serve together and serve one another. Relationships take time to establish and to maintain. Growth in Christ takes time. Time requires sacrifice and inconvenience. We make time for things we believe are important. Sometimes it means going to a bible study that is not interesting to you personally (remember, its not all about you and what you are getting out of it!), or perhaps it means asking the elders about starting a small group that you can attend. I would love to see everyone in the church in a small group. I realize that there are legitimate hindrances. Let's try to overcome them together.

Whatever the challenges may be, we will show how important growth in Christ and connection to the body are by how passionately we pursue them ourselves.