God's Call to Christian Men (Part 3)

"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife?" (Proverbs 5:18-20)

 The pervasiveness of pornography targets men, specifically Christian men. Maybe those who make it are not aiming for Christian men, but our chief Enemy certainly is. Already, men are predisposed to sexual sin because of how they are wired. What is God's call to Christian men regarding sexuality?

Proverbs 5 tells us the man of God is faithful to his wife. He rejoices in her even in old age just as he did when they were young. I can't help but think of my grandparents when I read this verse. (That's them on the right on their wedding day in 1942!) The man who delights in his wife is satisfied in her. He is captivated by her love. You won't find him looking for love in any other woman, whether real or digital! The only naked woman he ever sees is his wife and he is fully satisfied, takes delight in her and is committed to her. The godly man is a one woman man, a faithful man! This certainly characterizes my grandpa to this day. He still sees her at age 19! 

What if he is not married? His conduct should be the same. I worked on a construction site and in other contexts where men make rude comments and cat calls at women. Many people would just laugh it off as men being men. But this is not manly! This is foolish! This is demeaning to women!  It is a crooked path that is akin to adultery and fornication and even leads to it! According to Proverbs 5:22-23, "The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly." 

God calls Christian men to live according to a higher standard and to avoid the path of folly and even lead other men to see the folly of this behavior. This relates to the call on men to lead in the home, the church and the world. Leaders not only lead but they also protect. Men have been given ultimate responsibility for their wives, children, for matters in the church and matters in the world. John Piper said, "God created man first in order to say that man bears a primary burden for protection, provision, and leadership. And when man and woman rebelled against God’s ways, God came to the garden and said, Adam, where are you?” Yet we see Adam passing the buck to Eve and to God when God confronts him: “It was that woman you put here...” Adam not only failed to lead but also to protect Eve. Worse, he even attacked her (and blamed God who put her there with Adam!) The manly thing to do at this point would have been for Adam to step forward and confess "This is all my fault – I blew it!" That's what leaders do: man-up and take responsibility! I heard of a coach who said,  "If the team wins – its their success. If the team loses, its my failure." 

Proverbs 20:7 says "The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him. Men you are called to live righteously before your family. They don't need more possessions or more experiences. They need you to be men who love the Lord Jesus and walk blamelessly in Christ! How? When you fail, die to your pride, own it and put your faith and repentance on display to your family. Let them see you are trusting in a strong savior – let your weakness and sin magnify the power and grace of God. This may sound like you are wimping out but your not. Running to the bushes and passing the blame is wimping out. Why do we do this? Because we are ashamed of our weakness! 2 Corinthians 12:9,10 – Paul pleaded with the Lord to take away the thorn in his flesh – but the Lord said: “..my power is made perfect in weakness.” And Paul came to realize “...when I am weak, then I am strong.” If you run to the cross – you are acknowledging your weakness – which God turns around into great strength! Running to the cross is very manly! 

Proverbs 24:5 tells us "A wise man has great power, and a man of knowledge increases strength." Wisdom says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart." Foolish male thick-headedness says, "I am strong on my own." This is why we don’t ask for directions or help! We are proud.  But if you pursue wisdom and knowledge you will come to realize an important truth – you really are small and weak. Once you face this fact, then you are on the path of becoming strong for your family so you can teach them. 

This past Sunday we discussed ministries of the church at my home. I asked what some of the most important or essential ministries might be. If we could only pick 2 or 3 to invest in, what would they be? Someone mentioned the importance of father's teaching their families. Proverbs 4:3-5 gives us a picture of this: "When I was a boy in my father’s house, still tender, and an only child of my mother, he taught me and said, “Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live. Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them." Brothers, God calls you to teach your family the truth. Set aside times to teach your children about the Lord. I know some men feel they are ill equipped to do this but this is why we have men's ministry! If you have questions, I encourage you to approach a man in the church who is sound in his faith and is 10 years or more ahead of you in parenting and ask him for assistance. Don't wait for someone to come to you. But realize also that the most important thing you can teach your kids is the most basic. You don't have to have all the answers of the Bible, just start with talking about sin and salvation. Talk about loving Jesus and serving him every day.

Proverbs 12:18 warns: "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." There is a prohibition here as well as an imperative. Men need to aspire not only to teach their famileis but others too. Being a teacher is about building others up through instruction and loving correction. Reckless words tear down, hurt and destroy. Too many men try to toughen up their kids, especially their sons, by talking to them in this way. So many men tear down their wives with their words. Those who do neglect their responsibility as the head. Paul tells us the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. (Ephesians 5:23). Paul is not saying “be the head” he is saying you ARE the head. You are either a good head or bad head. All this means the Spiritual buck stops with you. Take this seriously! The days are evil and we need to make our families ready Our children need to be prepared to engage the world with confidence in their God and in the power of the cross.If you don't have the wisdom to do it, then get some. (James 1:5)