"Christians want to keep gay people from being happy."
I have heard this charge leveled against Christians several times in discussions on the issue of homosexuality. I can understand why someone who's sexual orientation is gay would feel this way. What they hear is they should not be who they are. Why would anyone want to suppress who they are or be someone or something they're not? None of us would want this. None of us would be happy by conforming to someone else's expectation.
But that is not what Christians are actually trying to say. Truth is Christian's really do want LGBT people to experience the ultimate happiness and joy that exists in the universe. But Christians have a very different understanding of what that is and how to experience it personally. In fact, they are trying to address a huge lie that says happiness can be found in creation without any reference to God the Creator.
It starts with our understanding of God's orientation. I am not talking about sexual orientation. I am talking about his creative and redemptive orientation. Many Christians think God is oriented towards us, that we are the center of all his actions. But Scripture reveals a God whose chief and primary purpose is to glorify himself. God says to Pharaoh:
"But for this purpose I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth." (Exodus 9:16, ESV) This is also his motive for redeeming Israel from Egyptian slavery: “And they shall know that I am the Lord their God, who brought them out of the land of Egypt that I might dwell among them. I am the Lord their God.” (Exodus 29:46, ESV)
Again he says: “For my name’s sake I defer my anger, for the sake of my praise I restrain it for you, that I may not cut you off. Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do it, for how should my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another.” (Isaiah 48:9–11, ESV)
I am sure these statements by God will be troubling for some Christians. But is it even possible for human beings to be the ultimate source of happiness for such a being as God? The way some Christians present the gospel, one gets the feeling that Jesus is a needy savior who needs us to believe in him. But Scripture is clear: God did not create humanity to fill any sort of void or experience happiness. Rather, it was out of the fullness of his joy and happiness he already had in himself that he created. Also, Jesus did not come to live, die and be raised again in order to satisfy a need he had, but to satisfy a need we had. We are the ones in need. We are the ones who are searching for happiness, but searching for it in the wrong places and in the wrong things.
Augustine said long ago in the following prayer:
Augustine says this from experience. He searched for happiness in sexuality and was unable to find it. His heart wandered for many years until it found rest in God through Jesus Christ. This is not just religious mumbo-jumbo. His book "Confessions" explains his journey and how the greatest joy and happiness he found was in Christ, not in other people, not in sex, not in experiences.
Matt Moore also understands this firsthand. He realized he had same-sex attraction at the age of 7.
"I grew up pleading with God to make me straight, I had no real interest in God Himself. I wasn't praying for God to do this because I loved Him or wanted to live my life for Him. I was actually pretty unconcerned about Him, to be honest. I wanted God to take away my same sex desires for my own benefit – so that I could fit in, be normal, be one of the guys, and even so that I could just have sex with girls like all of my friends were. So I obviously wasn't worried about being sexually moral. I just wanted to be sexually normal." [1]
Clearly, Matt knew something was off-track in his life. Thankfully, he learned what Augustine learned 1600 years before. Many in his position conclude the problem is not them, but society. Recently, a transgender teen committed suicide by walking in front of a semi. A suicide note was left on the teen's tumblr page which read: "My death needs to mean something... My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say, ‘That’s f—ed up,’ and fix it. Fix society. Please.” [2]
This is no doubt a tragic story, but not for the reasons most people would think. What I find so sad is this teen believed a lie which led to him taking his own life. That's what lies do: they lead to self-destruction. This teen (a male presenting as a female) was searching for happiness in the wrong things which inevitably sent him spiraling into a narcissistic abyss that started by telling him happiness was him becoming female. Next it said happiness is being accepted by your family and society for who you are. And it ended with him taking his own life. Suicide is narcissism taken to its logical conclusion. We make everything about us and our need for happiness only to be repeatedly disappointed and overwhelmed by a sense of despair. C.S. Lewis said: " If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.”
Homosexuality itself is not the issue: idolatry is. Anything we look to to supply ultimate joy, meaning and happiness is the idol we worship. The idol of sex, whether it be homosexual,heterosexual, bisexual - or some other form, is nothing more than idolatry.
When we Christians object to the homosexual lifestyle, we are not trying to keep homosexuals or anyone in the LGBT community from being happy. Our mission is not to inflict misery on anyone. We are simply saying looking for happiness in anything but Jesus will leave you wanting. Real happiness is found in Jesus alone and we want you to find it too. We want you to experience the joy and satisfaction of being a precious child of God. We are like beggars coming to you to say "Stop digging in the trash for food! We know where you can find the most delightful bread!" We are inviting them to join us in our Idolaters Anonymous support group, because we are pleading guilty of the same.
But here's a question for the Christian community: is this what the LGBT community is hearing from Christians or are they just hearing a moralistic message?
In John 4, Jesus meets a Samaritan woman at a well. She was thirsty but Jesus pointed out that the physical water could not satisfy the thirst of her spirit.
"Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:13–14)
Notice Jesus dealt with the heart of the matter, not the product of the matter. He did not come down on her for her immorality, but pointed out that she is drinking sea water, not living water. Her heart is restless, searching and unsatisfied. She was looking for happiness in relationships with men and this happiness eluded her (she has been married 4 times and is now living with a man she is not married to.) Jesus tells her he can give her water that will satisfy her deepest longings. She will never again look to a man for what only God can provide and wants to provide.
If Christians are not speaking to the empty void in peoples' lives with the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus, then it will sound like we are saying they should fill the void with rules, constraints, laws and ideas about what is "normal". We will appear to be promoters of a morality that we cannot even live up to. Our job is to show the world what it means to know Christ is to have life abundantly (John 10:10) and invite them to ask Jesus for the living water that can quench their thirst forever.
Do Christians want to keep gay people from being happy? Not at all! We simply want to show them where real happiness is found.
"But for this purpose I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth." (Exodus 9:16, ESV) This is also his motive for redeeming Israel from Egyptian slavery: “And they shall know that I am the Lord their God, who brought them out of the land of Egypt that I might dwell among them. I am the Lord their God.” (Exodus 29:46, ESV)
Again he says: “For my name’s sake I defer my anger, for the sake of my praise I restrain it for you, that I may not cut you off. Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do it, for how should my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another.” (Isaiah 48:9–11, ESV)
I am sure these statements by God will be troubling for some Christians. But is it even possible for human beings to be the ultimate source of happiness for such a being as God? The way some Christians present the gospel, one gets the feeling that Jesus is a needy savior who needs us to believe in him. But Scripture is clear: God did not create humanity to fill any sort of void or experience happiness. Rather, it was out of the fullness of his joy and happiness he already had in himself that he created. Also, Jesus did not come to live, die and be raised again in order to satisfy a need he had, but to satisfy a need we had. We are the ones in need. We are the ones who are searching for happiness, but searching for it in the wrong places and in the wrong things.
Augustine said long ago in the following prayer:
Almighty God, you have made us for yourself,
and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in you;
so lead us by your Spirit
that in this life we may live to your glory,
and in the life to come enjoy you for ever;
through Jesus Christ our Lord
who is alive with with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God now and for ever. Amen.
Augustine says this from experience. He searched for happiness in sexuality and was unable to find it. His heart wandered for many years until it found rest in God through Jesus Christ. This is not just religious mumbo-jumbo. His book "Confessions" explains his journey and how the greatest joy and happiness he found was in Christ, not in other people, not in sex, not in experiences.
Matt Moore also understands this firsthand. He realized he had same-sex attraction at the age of 7.
"I grew up pleading with God to make me straight, I had no real interest in God Himself. I wasn't praying for God to do this because I loved Him or wanted to live my life for Him. I was actually pretty unconcerned about Him, to be honest. I wanted God to take away my same sex desires for my own benefit – so that I could fit in, be normal, be one of the guys, and even so that I could just have sex with girls like all of my friends were. So I obviously wasn't worried about being sexually moral. I just wanted to be sexually normal." [1]
Clearly, Matt knew something was off-track in his life. Thankfully, he learned what Augustine learned 1600 years before. Many in his position conclude the problem is not them, but society. Recently, a transgender teen committed suicide by walking in front of a semi. A suicide note was left on the teen's tumblr page which read: "My death needs to mean something... My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say, ‘That’s f—ed up,’ and fix it. Fix society. Please.” [2]
This is no doubt a tragic story, but not for the reasons most people would think. What I find so sad is this teen believed a lie which led to him taking his own life. That's what lies do: they lead to self-destruction. This teen (a male presenting as a female) was searching for happiness in the wrong things which inevitably sent him spiraling into a narcissistic abyss that started by telling him happiness was him becoming female. Next it said happiness is being accepted by your family and society for who you are. And it ended with him taking his own life. Suicide is narcissism taken to its logical conclusion. We make everything about us and our need for happiness only to be repeatedly disappointed and overwhelmed by a sense of despair. C.S. Lewis said: " If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.”
Homosexuality itself is not the issue: idolatry is. Anything we look to to supply ultimate joy, meaning and happiness is the idol we worship. The idol of sex, whether it be homosexual,heterosexual, bisexual - or some other form, is nothing more than idolatry.
When we Christians object to the homosexual lifestyle, we are not trying to keep homosexuals or anyone in the LGBT community from being happy. Our mission is not to inflict misery on anyone. We are simply saying looking for happiness in anything but Jesus will leave you wanting. Real happiness is found in Jesus alone and we want you to find it too. We want you to experience the joy and satisfaction of being a precious child of God. We are like beggars coming to you to say "Stop digging in the trash for food! We know where you can find the most delightful bread!" We are inviting them to join us in our Idolaters Anonymous support group, because we are pleading guilty of the same.
But here's a question for the Christian community: is this what the LGBT community is hearing from Christians or are they just hearing a moralistic message?
In John 4, Jesus meets a Samaritan woman at a well. She was thirsty but Jesus pointed out that the physical water could not satisfy the thirst of her spirit.
"Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:13–14)
Notice Jesus dealt with the heart of the matter, not the product of the matter. He did not come down on her for her immorality, but pointed out that she is drinking sea water, not living water. Her heart is restless, searching and unsatisfied. She was looking for happiness in relationships with men and this happiness eluded her (she has been married 4 times and is now living with a man she is not married to.) Jesus tells her he can give her water that will satisfy her deepest longings. She will never again look to a man for what only God can provide and wants to provide.
If Christians are not speaking to the empty void in peoples' lives with the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus, then it will sound like we are saying they should fill the void with rules, constraints, laws and ideas about what is "normal". We will appear to be promoters of a morality that we cannot even live up to. Our job is to show the world what it means to know Christ is to have life abundantly (John 10:10) and invite them to ask Jesus for the living water that can quench their thirst forever.
Do Christians want to keep gay people from being happy? Not at all! We simply want to show them where real happiness is found.
-----------------------------
[1] http://www.christianpost.com/news/for-years-i-pleaded-with-god-to-make-me-straight-so-why-did-my-prayers-go-unanswered-133098/
[2] http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/12/31/transgender-teen-who-died-of-an-apparent-suicide-fix-society-please/
[1] http://www.christianpost.com/news/for-years-i-pleaded-with-god-to-make-me-straight-so-why-did-my-prayers-go-unanswered-133098/
[2] http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/12/31/transgender-teen-who-died-of-an-apparent-suicide-fix-society-please/
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